Wednesday, June 06, 2012
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(02:12) - so they start with a glitz and glamor show to cillo green, adele, ludachris, will smith, etc. etc. have I mentioned how anti-glitz I am? This is a press conference, not a concert. It's like if Boxing media conferences were organized by Michael Scott. Already I'm skeptical. Flo Rida.. unless you're promoting a new Wrestlemanis 28 video game GET OUT.
(03:55) - very dead crowd, can anybody figure out why? Just promote Just Dance 4 and be done with it.
(05:25) - This conference is to be 75 minutes long, and 5 minutes in they're proud to announce that they've got a youtube guy backstage.. great.. at least Mr Caffeine talked about the games.
(06:26) - what the hell was that? the host of this thing just insulted the fans by stating that they were watching the hot girls dancing, not paying attention to the thing ubisoft is here to promote.. "even the girls were looking at the girls, were all alittle gay like that just admit it" - if I was watching live in audience I woulda thrown something on stage and left. This really makes me not want to keep viewing.
(07:25) - Barebreasts to start off FarCry 3 demo.. I had a feeling Ubisoft had no respect for its fanbase with Michael Jackson the Experience last year.. now I just know. In under 8 minutes I am pretty sure I'm going to boycott ubisoft products for the next year. Don't insult me.
I realize how angry I'm getting watching this, the good thing is I can skip forward - so I skipped the far cry demo which lasted 9 minutes and showed gameplay. It does look good, but this was handled much better during sony.
(17:15) - Next up at the Video Games First Person Shooter expo is Splinter Cell.. wait isn't that Toby Turner for Like Totally Awesome? Wow Philip DeFranco just got burned by getting passed over for this dude.
(20:41) - You know you skip too far when you go from a military shooter to Venom. Avengers game, which also gets shown at the Microsoft conference. Don't get me wrong - the cutscenes look AAWWEESSOOMMEE.. but we're at a point where cutscenes are as important as bits in the gaming industry. If the gameplay is bad, the cutscenes just arent worth it. Don't get my hopes up here. If this isn't good enough for GOTY then Ubisoft needs to get out of the press conference game.
(23:34) - They're about to do their big WiiU schpiel, which leads me to believe these guys are just hogging the whole E3 show. Even EA didn't hog the other press conferences like this. Anyway - Rayman Legends. They're planning to show off uses for the game pad in this game, and it looks like player 2 is a mouse cursor.. neat?
(25:37) - Since these guys were up before Nintendo, it should be noted that ubisoft was the first to break the news that wiiu would have up to 5 player co-op in games.
(28:32) - Full level gameplay of Rayman Legends, they were always a pretty good sidescroller - and this looks like a.. pretty good sidescroller. And now that chick who offends me is back onstage - she only knows shooters but that sidescroller looked CCRRAAZZYY to her. I don't like you Aisha. Trailer for ZombiU up next. I like how she warns parents to put their kids to bed.. isn't it like 6pm when this conference went live? she also had no warning for the sexual content in the farcry 3 trailer.. which was completely unnecessary.
(31:20) By trailer I shoulda said still-frame music video. This makes me want to play lollipop chainsaw.
(33:00) - Montage time, Rabbidland, Yourshape.. you know I've got nothing to say because this entire video played during the Nintendo conference as well.
(34:10) - skipping the Assassins Creed III trailer because we saw a good 11 minutes of it an hour later during the sony conference.
(46:05) - wow, long trailer - it did have gameplay footage, the game looks good.. oh gees theres more. Okay I'm convinced Ubisoft really had nothing new to show that wasnt going to be shown elsewhere.. this conference coulda gone to THQ.. coulda gone to Bioware.. coulda shown off the Unreal 4 engine that's getting debuted in a couple days (hopefully with an announcement of UT4 coming soon)
(48:27) - I have no idea what eastboards are.. at least this is something new. God the banter between these two is un-freaking-bearable. I'd rather listen to Toby than Aisha at this point. Aisha reminds me of Sarah Silverman's character in Greg the Bunny or that cow that has Glee and that Nurse whatever show.
(53:51) - after 5 minutes I really should understand what this game is.. I've got no fraeking idea.. I'd rather play UT4.
(56:08) - Team Toby just beat TeamAisha - that means the one who keeps pissing me off isn't hosting anymore? Because that'd make the last 18 minutes of this show great.. I think that game was called Storm.
(57:30) - Another montage, nintendo learned from these guys. this one promotes their online and browser based games - Trials Evolution, the Settlers Online, Ghost Recon Online AND MORE.. which is really Outland, I am Alive, Shoot Many Robots, Beyond Good and Evil, CSI Miami and more.
(59:20) - Yves Guillemot on stage, he is knowledgable but he tries too hard to make jokes that come off awkward.
(60:01) - uhh.. i know they're doing this for a game... but they're going into the 2003 blackout.. which actually happened.. talking injuries and death.. which actually happened.. if this is for a game this is, once again, in quite bad taste - as it's doing the feat mongering youd expect from the republican party.. yeah it's for a thing called CToS. I know it's somewhat based on a movie I saw last year as well - but to change events that actually happened (the 2003 blackout) for your own profit is in bad taste. It'd be like a game based on the tri-city sniper and then changing the reasoning the guy and his stepson did it to sell your game.
(65:00) - well that was a fun rant - now gameplay footage for this.. and it looks very slow.. basically it's a game to make you feel like you're the dude from Dungeonmaster - the one who had the glasses that could change street lights. You know the one.
(73:15) - skipped up to the last 2 minutes because it was going to be a long boring demo, game's called Watch Dogs - and I know there's been a lot of hype for it - it does look cool, I just don't appreciate how they are marketting it so far. Developer had nothing to say.
And with that Aisha on stage pissing me off again - that's the show folks. Thanks for tuning in for my rambles through this and the other 5. If we have to talk about "who won it" Here are my rankings.
Nintendo
Sony
Ubisoft
Electronic Arts
Microsoft.
And it was really close among the top 3 and the bottom 2.. Microsofts only saving grace was Trey Parker making fun of Microsoft. EA at least had Ray Lewis. Nintendo was the only one showing off new hardware and that pretty much gave them the win by default. Stay tuned this weekend for a followup podcast with myself and a special guest (waiting on my voice to return) where we sum up what impressed us with the conferences.
I'll also put up something with booth-based announcements like the Unreal Engine - and things not featured in the shows. Until then, follow me on twitter @JimmyTehFreak - Game on and Freak out.
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Posted in: E3,Editorial
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